This week’s Thursday Writing Prompt from the Gentleman Savant:
What is the best compliment you’ve ever gotten in your entire life? Alternately (or in addition), tell us about the most backhanded or worst compliment you’ve ever received. Was it the fact that it came from a certain person that made it so good/bad? Or was it the culmination of events leading up to it? The world wants to know!
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Everywhere you go in this world, you will find good people. The people of every culture have their own ways of expressing kindness, hospitality, and friendliness. Sometimes the mode of expression is unfamiliar or confusing, and sometimes something just goes awry with the whole interaction.
I’ve been studying Mandarin Chinese for a few years now, and by any reasonable expectation I should be able to use it with a certain amount of ease by now. Far from fluent, I should nevertheless be able to manage most casual interactions. Really, I think I fall short of those expectations by quite a bit. This is not modesty on my part, either, lest anyone accuse me of being modest. (Really? I mean, have you SEEN my blog?) So it’s always a pleasant reassurance when I manage to communicate successfully in Chinese, and a particular treat to be complimented.
But lets not overdo it, shall we?
On a regular basis during my travels, the occasion does arise that I might greet someone I have never before met. Ah! Here’s a perfect chance to practice my Chinese!
“Hello,” I say to them.
“WHOA! You speak Chinese!” Is rather often the reply.
I can understand that it might still be a little bit jarring for a round-eyed ghost like myself to speak Chinese, but the number of foreigners living and even working in China has grown quickly in the past decade. Besides that, several publishers have come out with excellent foreign phrasebooks specifically designed to teach travelers a few useful sentences in the local lingo. Is it really so shocking that sometimes a foreigner might have been initiated into the secret way in which over a billion people say “hello”?
Sometimes it seems that polite compliments are given a little too easily. I may start to doubt the sincerity of your amazement with my skills if the praise is given too quickly!
Ah but it gets more interesting…
Where were we? Oh yes: “WHOA! You speak Chinese!”
I blush at the sidewalk, grind the toe of one foot against the ground bashfully and reply “Well, a little bit.”
“HEAVENS! You speak like a native Chinese person!”
“No, I really need more practice…” My whole face is red by this point.
“NO! NO NO NO! You speak Chinese perfectly! You speak better than a native Chinese person! Better than me!” He’s gesturing excitedly and pointing at me now. Seriously, I’m not that good. And this is freaking me out.
He continues, now asking me how many years I’ve been in China.
Having just come from my hotel, and suffering from jetlag still, I give the first response that comes to mind. “I just got here three days ago.”
“THREE DAYS! THREE DAYS!” He’s shrieking, bouncing a little, and looks ready to pull his hair out in clumps. “You’re so smart! You learned Chinese in three days!”
“No, wait a second,” I stammer. “I’ve been studying Chinese for three years already in school!” I try to dig up through the oppressively heavy praise, looking for a little shaft of light to restore normality to the situation.
It fails, and now I have to recount every detail of my academic background to this person. Really, I only wanted to buy a bottle of water. Maybe doling out friendliness is expected to result in a reciprocal amount of sales. Maybe foreigners just don’t tend to wander down this street I’m strolling. Or it may be that, once having made a commitment to compliment, my new friend is just reluctant to back down.
Whatever the case may be, I would like to explain that this EXACT CONVERSATION is played out almost every single day that I spend traveling in China. There’s no way to avoid it, it just has to be endured as a precursor to any other communication. This conversation, perhaps verbatim, will come before discussing the price for that t-shirt, trinket, or ice cream. It will initiate your relationship with every member of your local friend’s family. And far too often, it is the inevitable consequence of just saying “hello.”
Naturally, I’ve occasionally gotten a small measure of revenge in kind.
Thats when I, the foreigner, a wallet with legs, deliberately walk slowly through a market street. I dare to LOOK towards a shop.
“Hello. Please come in?” Shopkeepers in every part of the world seem to be able to speak enough English to do business.
“WOW!” I reply in utter shock. “YOU SPEAK ENGLISH SO WELL!!!!!!!!!!! REALLY! Your accent is perfect! You speak English as well as a native person! As well as I do! How did you learn to speak English so well!!?!??!?”
This is tricky. If you show any insincerity, you’re just being rude. But if you can maintain a perfect act, you can gush praise until a person has to either sink or swim.
Yeah. That’s karma coming back.
